Sunday, July 24, 2011

Well...There's a First Time for Everything.

So, hi everyone...

I'm going to go ahead and get to it.  I just moved in with my boyfriend, Lexi's dad, an awesome, amazing, beautiful man.  It should be great, right?

It's really freaking hard.  We did everything backwards, which lots of people do.  But we are not lots of people.  We are us, and it's really hard. 

So, things I've learned that I already knew because I should have listened to my mom:

1.  You literally have to tell them to do EVERYTHING....unless it's eat or go to the bathroom. 

2.  You have to praise every move they make.

3.  If you want anything done right, just freakin' do it yourself.

Now...I'm sure there are some I'm missing (maybe a 1,000) but I'm distracted by Drop Dead Diva:)  I love it!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

When to Cut the Kid from the Booby...

So I recently had a thiiiing happen.

I take Lexi to this play class, ya know the blow up jumpers, soft climbing things kind of play class?  There is a little boy there who is 3 and he is a wild thing.  He is a mean skinny little kid...So I was the only adult in the jumper thing and he comes in and starts grabbing the balls from the kids.  Not nice, I know.  I nicely said, "T, the other kids are playing with the balls (including my daughter you little f-er), can you leave some in here?"  It was as if I hadn't said anything at all.  He took the balls and started throwing them out of the jumper, he wasn't even playing with them...he was just being a little piece of you know what.  So he grabbed one from Lexi and I said, "T, that is not nice." And I took it back......

Okay, so now you can either judge me or not.  Yeah it was childish, but if you are not there to discipline your child then I will.  I was nice and gave him a chance to fix it and he did not.  So I took the freakin' ball from him.  He left the jumper screaming crying...I mean, you would've thought I beat the living shit out of him.  I kind of felt bad, but at the same time I didn't.  His mom wasn't in there to tell him he was being rude, what was I supposed to do?  Sit in the jumper with a bunch of sad little kids or have one sad mean kid run crying to his mommy?  Easy peasy...

So there is this huge blow up log thing that the kids can sit on or jump on while holding their parents hands.

One minute the mother is holding her son and comforting him because he was freaking out...the next minute she is sitting on this log in the middle of the room....breast feeding her 3 year old sooth him...or he walked up to her and asked for a snack...I don't know.

Now I recently had a little discussion about this with a "lactivist" because I really felt it was the inappropriate time and place to be doing that.  She opened my eyes a bit, but I still feel that if she really wanted to breast feed her 3 year old, she could have gone to the side of the room, left the room altogether, or told her son that he could wait...or eat some freakin' pretzels.  

What do you all think?  I am all for breast feeding!  Please don't get me wrong.  I know how hard it is and how rewarding it is and how strong the connection is between mother and child.  I also know how hard it is to stop, especially if you have to stop and it isn't by choice.  When it comes to nutrition, if your 3 year old isn't getting what they need at that point there is something wrong.  We do not live in a 3rd world county where it is an absolute necessity to breast feed until later years.  We have formula, vitamins, good pay to go to a play class so obviously you have money to throw around a bit....

Let me know what you think?  How old is to old in your opinion and why?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Dreaming the Nights Away

Who out there dreams crazy ass dreams?...and not just pregnant women.  I'm talkin' caaarazy dreams.  Like the ones you wake up from, heart pounding, scenes playing through your mind of something that shouldn't have passed through.

I remember a dream from when I was in elementary school, living in a really awesome old house.  We had a nasty green linoleum floor and an antique sink.  Half of the sink was the built in drying area and under the other half of it was an old radiator that my cat Megan used to sit on to keep warm.

My house was one of those houses that made noises that would scare the poop out of a kid.  To get up stairs to my parents house I would walk with my back to the wall, looking both ways to make sure no one was looking at me from the back porch....eeeeek, it still gives me the creeps. dream.

I was walking into the kitchen to get a drink of water, wearing a long white nightgown.  The room was pitch black as I somehow made my way to the sink.  I stood there looking out the window, filling my glass when I heard a low growl.  The kind of guttural sound a cat makes when it is piiiissed off.  I turned my head to the right and saw for just a second to bright red cat eyes staring at me from the floor.  Before I knew it the cat lunged at me with her claws stretched out, ready to rip me to shreds....

Obviously now that I look back on this dream, it's really not that bad.  But I should have known that it would lead to what now goes through my mind while I should be sleeping.

Some nights I dream so much that when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've been up all night long.  When I was pregnant, it was the worst.  I wrote most of those dreams down because they were way to freaky to not remember.  I should just do a whole other blog about the dreams I have and have had....hmmm.  I wonder if anyone would find it as weird and amazing as I do...I wonder how many other people out there dream the way I do?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Have a Happy Mom's Day!

Mother's Day is here again:) It will be my 2nd Mother's Day and I still cannot seem to get over that fact!  AND Alexis will be 2 in the hell did that happen?  My little butterball is a jibber-jabbering, drama queen.  I wonder where she got those qualities from?

So Jason (Lexi's dad) and I have been together....and I mean that like together:)  It took me long enough to come around, but I finally did.  I guess I needed it to be on my own terms but now that things are the way they are, I couldn't be happier.

He told me he needed to borrow my car to drive a friend to the airport because his car wasn't acting right and he didn't trust driving it that far.  Soooo of course I believed him and thought it totally necessary that he take my car.     Last night he came to pick my car up, I even texted him to drive safe and tell his friend I said hi...

As it turned out he took my car and installed a CD player!!! I have been listening to the radio for almost a year now and my favorite CD was stuck in the CD player...mocking me whenever I tried to turn it on.  It would say "track 6" and I would press play like 8 times.  I even tried jamming things inside it to see if I could just magically pop the CD out.  Whatever, it's gone and hopefully smashed into teeny tiny pieces by now.

Isn't that so nice?  I thought so to.  Very unexpected...I was thinking a card and wine would be great! Ha.  He did a good job:)

I hope all you mothers out there have a really fabulous Mother's Day because I know we all deserve it.  And to the Moms who are serving our country, Thank You from the bottom of my heart and I hope you get to see your children and families very soon!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

S**t Momma, S**t Momma!

Yes, Lexi said her first cuss word.  Who do you think had the pleasure in teaching her?


Let me paint the picture......

The day before was beeeautiful! Warm, blue skies.  I drove around with my windows wide open, blasting K92...not my first choice in music but my cd player is broken.  Lucky me.  I tutor 2 little boys and had them at the house, they live very close (walking distance) so we decided to walk back to their house instead of drive.  I was even thinking about the environment!

When I got back home, I walked past my car and inside.  Ignoring the fact that all four of my windows were wiiiiide open.

That night there was a huge rain storm.  I mean, it poured, while I slept like a baby.  Lexi didn't even wake up that night!  I woke up in the morning with a really bad feeling.  It kind of formed in the little triangle part in between your rib cages.  You know that part?  Then fizzled up.  It was still pouring the next morning.

Usually my car is parked in front of the house, but today, my moms was and mine was on the other side.  Meaning, I couldn't see my car.  I figured, if I did leave them open I might as well not shut them now, let it get soaked, I don't care.  I was pissed.  Not at myself, but the freaking rain!  How could that happen? It was gorgeous and then this!  Then anger turned to could this happen...really?  My mom went out because she felt bad for me.  She came in looking like someone ran over her puppy.

Me: "Were they open?" (I already knew the answer)

Mom:  "Yeah."

Me: "All of them?"

Mom: "Yeah, all the way."

Me: "Great.  What a shitty way to start my morning."

Lexi:  "Shit momma, shit momma."

Me:  "My point exactly."

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm Baaaack!

Hi there.  So I'm pretty sure it's been several months, maybe an actual year since I've been on here.  I got re-inspired by another mom actually.  Her daughter is going through some rough stuff right now and is only a few months old. is this families blog, please visit them, see pictures of their adorable little nugget, and read about her amazing story.  Keep them in your thoughts and prayers:)

It's going to take some time for me to get this thing going again, so be patient with me.

Lexi is now almost 2! I guess technically, in "mom terms", she would be 22 months.  But I really don't want to be one of those mom's who when asked how old their child is, they reply,  "Oh, he is 46 months old, can you believe how fast time flies!"  No, that will not be me.  She is a completely dramatic...about everything.  She is going to be causing myself and her father a lot of trouble in the near future.  Are we ready? Highly doubtful but we will deal with it as it comes I guess!

I'm still living with my parents, defeating the evil basement centipedes (I'll post a picture of one of these devil creatures), trying my damnedest to pee in private, tutoring 2 boys, keeping my furry son from destroying our neighborhood bird and chipmunk supply, ordering an obscene amount of vampire books on my Kindle and reading them in one sitting, enjoying've heard of "wine Wednesday"? Well for me it's Wednesday through Tuesday.  All of these very important things keep me very busy.

In my free time I keep you entertained, change poopy diapers, potty train, say "wash your hands" at least 15-20 times a-day, say "f**k" at least that same amount either silently in my head or in a hushed whisper (because Lexi learned her 1st cussword thanks to yours truly), spend some quality time with a hunky hunk, receive useless facebook notifications that I take way too seriously, all the while trying to deal with my everyday "things".

While writing this, my daughter just came to me with a new box of baby advil...unopened obviously...I said, "Lexi, do you need medicine?" Lexi says, "Yeah" and puts her hands on her throat with a pained look on her face.  Wonderful.  I've created a mini hypochondriac. 

Alright, well I won't bore you anymore.  But don't worry, there will be more:)

Potty Princess

Potty Princess
The 2nd time she pooed in the potty, half of it got in there....the other half, well went down the drain in the tub.